Lost
by SuperCess
Summary: Misaki loves Usui. She knew that. She's even in Britain to get him back. But then Igarashi Tora happened and now she's a little bit lost. (Based on the recent chapters in the Britain arc). One-shot!


_A/N: Sorry, I just read the recent chapters of Maid-sama and I was overcome with Igarashi/Misaki feelings. I love the spark between them and I feel like the Usui/Misaki relationship lacks that recently (even before the England arc). Sigh._

_Well anyway, I wrote my feelings down and made a one-shot. Enjoy. :)_

* * *

"_Remember this well…I see you as a woman and I like you."_

* * *

This is wrong. This is so very wrong.

She loves Usui, she really does. If she didn't, why would she even be in Great Britain trying to face royalty head-on, right? She knows she loves Usui by the mere fact that upon hearing his voice for the first time in a long time, her heart clenched in her chest, wanting to burst in flames and leaving her speechless.

Now she was standing on a ledge, she believes that Usui will be there; he was always there. _Always_. She looked back at the suited men trying to catch her and gave them a smirk. _For my sake, Usui jumped from a much higher place than this_.

She jumped and only one thought was on her mind 'Usui will be there', just like she was there for him. Misaki fell with a loud thud on the ground—a bad fall—and she knew she had broken something or had bruises all over. Suddenly she felt like she was being lifted up gently from the ground.

'_See, Usui is here. He always is.' _

But it wasn't him. Usui wasn't there and Misaki was lost. She had been lost for a long time, no matter how much she tries to deny it.

She had been lost the night that they danced and he told her softly "See, you can dance after all." She had been lost when she woke up with his uniform jacket keeping her from getting cold. She had been lost when they exchanged banters all the time; screaming at each other like it was nobody's business. She had been lost when she saw him openly laughing at her even though she hated it with passion.

She's lost because Igarashi Tora happened.

She realized the situation she was in and with a snap of a finger, she was back to her usual self; flailing around and trying to get out of Tora's arms. It was humiliating enough that she had a bad fall; she wouldn't be caught dead being carried away like a little lady when she was perfectly okay.

"Just a—I'm fine. Put me down!" Misaki demanded, flushed red and glaring up at Tora who refused to let her go.

"Idiot. Don't move." Tora reprimanded her and for a moment there, Misaki saw concern and worry in Tora's expression. It made her heart skip a beat. _This is wrong. This is all wrong. _"All covered with scratches, what are—"

She saw him; she saw Tora being angry because of the danger that she almost got herself into. But she had to snap out of it; she wasn't supposed to lose it, she was supposed to find it. And by 'it', she means Usui Takumi.

"I have to get to that guy! This time, I'll definitely get him out—" Misaki protested, still glaring at him as she continued to flail around, wanting to get away from Tora as soon as possible so she could stop feeling things; things that she wasn't even supposed to be feeling.

Tora was just about to say something when Usui's voice filled the air.

"I say, won't you set her down?"

Then Usui was there, in all his prince-charming glory, jumping from the ledge she was at before and landing perfectly in front of her and Tora. She's flustered, of course she's flustered because they had made a scene in front of thousands of people.

"Well then, will you return her to me soon?" Usui said after all the talking with Tora. Misaki couldn't help but be pissed a little at the two men.

"Tr-treating people like objects…!" She said more to Tora than to anyone else.

But she regretted it as soon as she said it because she didn't miss the look that Tora gave her; the look that reminded her of his words.

"_I see you as a woman."_

Then she was being handed over to Usui, soon enough she was in his arms. Where she should belong. But seeing Tora's smile—the smile she knew because she had done it multiple times in her life, that smile that hides all—her heart clenched tightly in her chest. And she was lost yet again.

But she loves Usui, she loves him as they kiss in the middle of the crowded castle grounds. She loves him, that's what she tells herself.

* * *

Misaki was looking anywhere but at Usui. They were alone in a room after having a talk with the man who calls himself the duke of the place, she didn't really quite get it and she got a stern talking to courtesy of Tora for not utilizing the English-speaking skills she acquired from his friends which ended up in a long banter between the two of them.

"You know that I'm not one to give up." Usui said, breaking the silence. If it was another conversation, she would have been totally confused but she knew what he was talking about. Usui always knew when something was up and this will not get past his radar.

"I…" She was speechless. How does she explain this?

"I know, Ayuzawa." Usui gently told her, walking towards her and cupping her cheek. Misaki looked up at him, only to see hurt and sadness in his eyes. "I know because you used to look at me that way. You used to act that way around me." He said.

She knew she was trembling because this wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to be happy in his arms right now that they were together again but instead, they were having this conversation.

Then she heard him chuckle, "Maybe you really are an M." He commented.

Misaki couldn't even get herself to laugh or be pissed at his joke. She looked up at him again, her eyes conveying that she's sorry. So very sorry for being all messed up.

"I'm lost." Misaki honestly said, averting her gaze to Usui's chest instead. "I don't know…if what I'm doing is the right thing…or not." She continued.

"Now you just have to think if it's about our situation or…about something else." Usui said. "Though I'm pretty sure it has become both." He ended.

He leaned in to press a soft kiss on her lips for the second time that day.

"I love you." Misaki quietly told him. It was true. It really is. She knew that she loves him with all her heart. Maybe if she repeats it and think about it over and over again, she can convince herself that nothing has changed. That she's fine. That everything's okay.

But it's not.

Usui gave her a reassuring smile. "I know but you're confused. Just you saying that you love me without stuttering tells me that something's wrong." He observed. "You miss the old 'us' and as much as you try to deny it, you felt the 'old us' with Igarashi." He said sadly. "You need to choose Ayuzawa but always remember that I will always follow you around whatever your decision may be."

Usui pulled away, "Now, go get some rest. You have your own room." He said. "Or maybe you want to sleep with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"You perverted alien." Misake retorted. "I'm leaving." She said, turning her back and walking away. Not seeing the troubled expression on Usui's face because Usui knew that everything in the future he wanted with her was now uncertain.

* * *

She didn't know how long she was wandering around; the castle was too big and she doesn't know where she was.

"Lost, are we?"

Misaki turned around and Tora was there, looking smug. She instantly frowned and glared daggers at him; it's as if seeing Igarashi Tora puts her whole being into defense mode.

"Why is it always you who's there?" Misaki murmured under her breath as Tora stood next to her.

"You're a hopeless case." Tora groaned, grabbing Misaki's hand. "Your room's next to mine. Come on before you embarrass yourself further." He said.

"I do not embarrass myself! Let go of me!" She screamed, although her heart was beating madly in her chest. Why was she even nervous?

"Yes you do. You should've seen yourself trying to converse in English with the Duke. _Jesus_, that was the worst conversation I've ever heard in my life. We need to get you to talk more while you're here. It's fun." Tora laughed at her face, making her flush deep red.

"I've really had enough of you Igarashi! I hate you so much." Misaki swore under her breath but Tora just stared at her, amused.

"But you actually don't. You need me Ayuzawa Misaki, in more ways than one." He bluntly said, opening the door and pushing Misaki inside her room, before smirking and leaving her alone.

_You need to stop this Igarashi because I know I'm going to regret it if I fall for you._

She's pissed at herself for being in this kind of situation. She's pissed at Usui for having this kind of family that led to this situation. Lastly, she's pissed at Tora for helping her and acting like the Usui she missed and knew and loved.

And she's still lost, hoping that she'll find herself again.

* * *

_A/N: I just really wanted to write that down._


End file.
